Jessica O'Dwyer, author of the adoption memoir MAMALITA, has written a lovely post titled "Four Moms," about the relationship between her daughter Olivia and Olivia's first mother in Guatemala. She writes:
For many parents who adopted children internationally, a birth mother-and-child relationship is uncharted territory. No one knows what to expect.
Each reunion experience is different. What is true for us may not be true for you; what is true for us today may not be true for us tomorrow, or next year. Our relationship with Olivia’s birth mother continues to evolve. The over-arching element is love. And relief. Relief for “Ana,” knowing the baby she gave up is a growing, nine-year-old girl, healthy and happy and loved. Relief for me, knowing that Ana placed Olivia for adoption—not without sorrow and loss—but with free will...
Meeting Olivia’s birth mother has answered many questions for Olivia. From visiting Guatemala, Olivia has witnessed firsthand the hardships faced by many in the country, especially poor indigenous women. At the same time, she has sat on her birth mother’s lap and felt her mother’s embrace. She knows that she is loved. Even from a distance, Ana feels like a real and familiar part of our family.
Drop by Mamalita: The Blog to read the complete entry, and keep a tissue handy in case, like me, you get a little choked up.